Marriage Misdeeds

Islamic Fiqh Academy Secretary Maulana Khalid Saifullah Rahmani speech at Walajah mosque in Chennai
Published in Muslim Murasu, December 2011

Islahi Mashira. Living together is essential. Man on one hand relates to God and on the other hand relates with his fellow human beings. Both are important. If he has love for God, it will certainly transform into unconditional love for fellow beings.
In Prophet’s opinion, best among human beings are those who have best character. They are those who are pleasant to others.
A lady was said to do prayers in excess. But people felt uncomfortable with her behavior with them. Another lady only met bare minimum needs when it comes to prayer. But she was more than amiable in her nature. People had good impression about her. Prophet told that the first lady will enter hell and the second will enter heaven.
Goodness in character is more important than mere ritualistic prayers. A good community is one in which people are good to each other.
Today we see people steeped in religious affinity increasing. Mosques are swelling. There are more worshipers. Spending for religion has increased. There are more men sporting beard and religious appearance. But hardships are also increasing. Muslims are humiliated and belittled. Muslims are not safe even in Muslim nations. They are killed and injured. This has never happened in Islamic history. What is the reason? On one hand Ibadath (worship) is increasing and on the other hand humiliations are mounting.
Sins will make Ibadath ineffective. This is Prophet’s view. A person is having jaundice. He is taking medicines. He also eats briyani and paaya. Medicines won’t help him. Ibadath will become wasted because of wrong deeds and improprieties.
A time will come when people will cry and pray from their hearts. But their prayers won’t be answered. Allah will say that your flesh, blood and skin are from haraam (forbidden) income. I won’t accept your prayers. Haraam income will nullify prayers.
Each one of us should seriously consider this. Which of Allah’s commands have we rejected or dishonored. Why do we face increasing difficulties and troubles.
Marriage, divorce and division of property – God’s commands are frequently breached in these three matters. Marriage has become a Muslim problem all over India. Now it is taking global dimensions.
Marriage is a very simple process in Islamic way. All that is needed is two witnesses. For Namaz, there is some requirement about dress. Dress should be clean and proper. One has to travel to do Haj. Money is needed to give Jakath. But one can marry without a penny.
Nikah is an Ibadath. This is a historic mosque. If a person requests to open a textile shop here, we won’t accept. We won’t accept even if he offers to pack it off during Jumah time.
Prophet told to announce marriage and arrange it in mosque. Some narrations tell that marriage of Fathima (rali) was conducted in mosque. Nikah is an Ibadath. So it is recommended to conduct it in mosque.
Kutba (sermon) is organized during Jumah, Haj and during heavy rains. Kutba is associated with worship. No one will conduct Kutba before starting for market or shopping. Prophet has recommended Kutba with marriage.
Nikah is Prophet’s sunnath. His way. “Marriage is my Sunnath. Whoever breaches my Sunnath does not belong to me”. What does this mean.
We have to do Namaz like Prophet did. Sajda increases intimacy with God. But we cannot do four Sajda in a rakaath. Offering Namaz as we wish is not permitted. We cannot offer four rakaath in Magrib.
Nikah is Prophet’s Sunnath. Sunnath is to follow Prophet exactly. We have to follow his way completely. Our personal and individual desires and ideas are not permitted.
In God’s view, marriage with less expenditure brings more Barakath. Our standard is violating from Prophet’s standard. Our views are completely differing.
We invite everyone for marriage. We invite even our enemies, distant relatives, those with whom we are not in speaking terms, and those with whom we have bitter relationship and those with whom we are not in touch. We nearly force them to attend marriage. But only two do not get any invitation – God and His Prophet.
Barakath differs according to context. In terms of money, Barakath is to have maximum needs fulfilled with minimum amount. For health, Barakath is to lead healthy life without disease.
Barakath in marriage is to look forward to tension-free life, intimate and soulful relationship, peaceful days and good children.
Today each house is beset with disputes. There is clash between wife and mother-in-law. There are differences between husband and wife. ‘La thaskunu alaiha’ – purpose is peace and harmony. This is God’s intention. When a man enters his house, he should find a peaceful atmosphere. He should get rid of tension. But now situation is equally turbulent in outer world and inside house. People are engulfed with tension and restlessness.
Reason is that we rejected Prophet’s way of marriage. Bounty and Barakath in Nikah has left us.
Spouse should be like Libaas (raiment). Raiment will give beauty and decency. It is a matter of pride for a man if his wife binds his relations. Dress gives protection from heat, cold, rain and dust. Spouse should protect secrets and property. She will hide her husband’s weaknesses. Dress will hide scars and wounds. We see that weaknesses of wife are revealed to everyone in the house. A person who does not find peace in his house cannot make it big in life.
God has been extremely kind and beneficent to the mission of two Prophets. They are Ibrahim (alai) and Muhammad (sal). Their wives supported their mission and were obedient. They offered help and support. So their mission met with great success.
Dawath of two Prophets did not find great success. There was nothing missing in their efforts or characters. Their wives were unbelievers and disobedient. Nooh (alai) and Lut (alai).
If a person is not ably supported by mother, wife and daughter, he cannot achieve anything big. There should be support from this faculty.
Each Muslim house is beset with disputes and fights. Main reason is extravagant marriages, spending too much during marriages.
Abubakkar and Umar (rali) asked for the hand of Prophet’s daughter Fathima (rali). Prophet gently declined. Umar and Usman suggested Ali (rali) to express his desire. Prophet accepted. Message is that if we offer to marry a woman and the offer is declined, we should not take it in bitter taste and make it a cause for enmity. Nowadays they stop talking afterwards. Talks about relation should originate from groom’s side. Groom’s family should start the discussion. Today, the situation is reverse. Prophet expressed his desire to marry Ayisha. Except Kathija, Prophet initiated marriage talks for all other wives. Bride’s family is not a disgraced family. Groom’s side should talk respectfully.
Four Sahabas (companions) have contributed immensely to Islamic mission. Prophet married daughters of Abubakkar and Umar (rali) and gave his daughters in marriage to Usman and Ali (rali).
During Ali’s marriage, shield was auctioned for Mehar. It was sold for 800 Dirham. Usman bought it and gave the money. Usman gave the shield back as marriage gift. Some money was handed over to Bilal (rali) to buy some materials that are essential to set up a house. 300 Dirham remained. Prophet told Ali that in the event of separation from Fathima, he should pay atleast a portion of Mehar. Scholars infer that during divorce, atleast a portion of Mehar should be compulsorily returned. Marriage took place in Masjid-un-nabavi. Prophet personally escorted his daughter that evening to Ali’s house. He advised Ali that he should take care of all external works hereafter. Prophet told Fathima that she should take care of all household works from this day.
Abbas is Prophets uncle. He had converted to Islam and was staying in Meccah. Prophet did not see it necessary to invite him. Man should not eat from his wife’s property and earning. Prophet’s son-in-law worked and earned. It is man’s duty to earn for his family. Prophet laid stress on this. They got children like Hasan and Husain (rali). Their family flourished.
When halaal is made difficult, haraam will become easy. If loan is difficult, usury will be cheap. If marriage is difficult, indecency will become common. A survey taken many years back revealed that there are 40000 Muslim women in the city who are more than 30 years and are unmarried. Now this should have swelled to more than a lakh. Some are marrying Hindus. Money is not available for marriage. Guarding community has become difficult.