Pay Attention To Friends Circle

Muslim Murasu, May 2012

Purpose of friendship is to root out influence of other cultures. Friendship will render all aspects of religion like transforming heart, character, external facets, internal necessities, discipline and following commands.
One cannot become religious without partnering with a person who is already devoted to God. One cannot become religious from sitting in home. It is imperative to do sacrifice in the path of God. This will bring the habit of starting early in the  morning. Friendship will make difficult things easy. A Nawab was asked about how he lost his rule. He answered that he used to drink in nights and sleep in mornings.
A mother was forcing her infant to walk with her. Her hope was that child will soon learn to walk on religious path. Discipline and values can be learnt through relations. Life improves through relations. Respect is earned from forgiving, not by taking revenge. Man’s success cannot be measured from his vehicles and homes. See his contacts and loyalties.
Tremendous efforts are needed to purify mind and character. Mother has to cry, father has to be concerned. Children will then get good nature. Parents have to feel concerned about their children. “Make me write what you like”. A writer prayed to God. We should pray for knowledge that was bestowed on people whom God loved.
Mother of an Auliya advised him. Learn to do your works on your own. Do not involve servants. That will give you cruel mentality and a mindset to disrespect others. Fulfill your needs on your own. Learning from lap of mother makes a saint.
Umme Ruman (rali) was mother of Ayisha (rali). Ayisha was wrongly accused. She was in distress for a month. Then Quran verse was sent down declaring her virtue. Ayisha (rali) was pleasantly surprised. Usual mother-in-law would have fought with son-in-law. But Ayisha’s mother told her to go to Prophet, thank him and declare her allegiance to him. Prophet told, “If you want to see a lady fit for paradise, see Umme Ruman”.
Mother-in-law should have good nature. It is not enough to have silver hair. Character should shine. Tender heart is needed. Honor is in covering and forgiving mistakes of young ones. Service is to be given, not to be taken. Youngsters should not be insulted when people are around. They should not be cursed. Prayers should be done for them in solitudes. Mother-in-law, father-in-law, husband and wife, each one should understand his or her duty.
Rasoolullah had married daughter of Abu Sufyan. He had troubled Prophet during many battles like Uhud and Kandaq. But Prophet never mentioned his name in his house. One can get such noble character only through prolonged efforts, good contacts, prayers and sacrifices.
Tarbiyath cannot be imparted in one lecture. Short temper cannot be brought under control through the course of a speech. Tenderness cannot be injected through pills. There are no readymade medicines or utilities to avoid Haraam. Allah has made this world as ‘Alame asbaab’. One has to wait for the crop after sowing. It will take ten months for a fetus to grow. Every growth is gradual and methodical. That is the rule here.
Rain will grow flowers in some soil and thorns on other soil. Hearts of thousands are transformed through Dawath works. Muhalla is uplifted. Allah bestows the power to transform a region, the whole world, in the hands of a person. Those coming to Dawath works should come with the objective to learn Tarbiyath (discipline and values). Only then Allah will give Tarbiyath to them. No one can learn it without seeking it.
The speed of Tarbiyath will be surprising. Everyday man will turn his gaze towards his own shortcomings. He will respect his critics. “They helped me realize my mistake”. A writer was thankful to his critics. They are helping me correct my book. Otherwise, I would have to spend a lot to find mistakes and correct them. Critics are your helpers. People seeking self-refinement will appreciate their critics. They won’t fight with them. They won’t feel content about their self. Angels keep calling you towards goodness round the clock and Shaitan invites you to evil deeds round the clock. This is permanent battle in heart. Worship till death. You can feel content after saying Kalima before dying. “Muthmayinna”. Those who feel content about their self has fallen into Shaitan’s trap. Decline has started for them in this world and the next. There won’t be any development.
Life is not a matter of bread and butter. Faith is important. People become restless when their income dwindles. Rewards are being delayed when you strive honestly. What goodness will you receive when you take to wrongful means. If Allah is delaying, it is for some good reason. Prophet has told us not to take to sins when our incomes are delayed. Allah will give only good things from His reserves. Graduation, posting and income are not big things. Faith is the biggest asset. One drop of Marifath, awakening, has no match. Engineers and millionaires should not forget God. Allah has been taught to you when you were in your mother’s lap.
Parents should send their children in the path of God. People leading those children also should have soft heart. They are fortunate to lead these children and pray for them. God will do wonders with those whom they train.
Surah 25, Furqan, verses 27 – 28. ‘wa yawma ya’allu llaalimu ala yadaihi yakulu yalaithani athakazthu mahar rasooli sabeelan’ – the day that the wrongdoer will bite at his hands. He will say, ‘oh! Would that I had taken a straight path with the messenger’.
‘yavailatha laithani lam athakiz fulaanan kaleela’ – ‘Ah! Woe is me! Would that I had never taken such a one for a friend’.
Background of this verse. Uqba invited people of Mecca to a feast. Prophet insisted that Uqba should accept his invitation, then he will accept Uqba’s invitation. Uqba embraced Islam. Abu Jahl sternly told Uqba to renounce Islam, only then he will take part in the feast. Uqba reneged from Kalima. Allah refers to those who went astray owing to their friendship. This verse is about them whose Imaan got corrupted by their contacts.
Some are running away. But missionary workers of Allah keep pursuing them in office, house and market and give them good message. It takes a lot to get selected for a company. One has to pay attention to his dress, language, education, appearance and diction. It is no mean task to get selected for Allah’s work. Traveling abroad to Australia and America is easy. But an opportunity to preach goodness to a person in your neighborhood is a great Blessing. Introspection and repentance are the needed qualities here.