Parents Come Immediately After Allah

Darse Quran by Maulana Syed Rizwan Pasha Quadri
Published in Muslim Murasu, April 2012

Surah Nisa, verse 36. Worship Allah. Do not attribute anything equal to Him. “He has powers like Allah. Allah certainly has to pay heed to his words”. Such assertions have no place in Islam. No one is equal to Allah. There is no match to His attributes and qualities. He is alone. He has no partner. Allah commands to worship Him alone. Immediately after this, Allah commands kindness towards parents.
After Allah, it is your parents most deserving of your services. They are the most important in this world next to Allah. Some question about importance of Prophet. Accepting Allah is accepting Prophet and vice-verse.
Prophet has told that your mothers are heaven for you. You make her happy, you attain heaven. Your fathers are your heaven. You make him happy, you will get heaven. All your worships and rituals are wasted if your parents are unhappy. Allah has no need for your prayers. Parents need your love. No person can fully compensate for the sacrifices of parents.
A companion came to Prophet and said that he carried his mother over his shoulders and did Haj from Medina to Mecca. He inquired whether he has compensated for her sacrifice. Prophet replied that he has not compensated for a small part of the pain that his mother endured during his birth.
Quran says, ‘ani shukurni valilvalidayn’. Be thankful to God and be thankful to parents. Those who are ungrateful to parents are ungrateful to God. Sometimes parents do annoy us. Short temper naturally comes with old age. They may have physical illness or they might have lost their life mate. This may cause depression and they may express anger. But do not say a word of inconvenience to them. This is God’s command. Allah will honor those who honor their parents.
In the period of Imam Thirmidi (rah), his companions set out to Basra for education. He could not join them because his mother was old and alone. Books were not available in those days. There won’t be copies of books. His friends returned after learning. Imam Thirmidi asked them to say some Hadees that they learned. When they start to tell any Hadees, Imam will tell them the remaining Hadees with complete details. His friends were surprised about how he knew this much when he had not traveled with them. Imam Thirmidi answered that Allah showed mercy on him and sent Khizr (alai) everyday to teach him. Khizr (alai) is from the time of Moosa (alai). Allah will give good rewards to those who are respectful to parents.
‘vakullahuma kawlan kareema’. Quran command is to use pleasant words to parents. Whatever be your tension, don’t speak harsh words to them if you want to protect your Imaan. Lower your shoulders to them. Don’t show arrogance. Surah 17, Bani Israel, verses 23-24.
Parents are huge blessing to children. If your parents are no more, be good to their relatives. If this makes your parents happy, all your sins will be forgiven. Show love for mother and respect to father. This is the opinion of Quran commentators. If both of them ask for water at the same time, first give to mother and then to father.
Prophet explained with a hypothetical example. My parents are alive. Ikamath has been said for prayer. I am standing for prayer. Now if my mother calls me, ‘Ya Muhammad’, then I will leave prayer and rush to answer her call. Prayer can be delayed but I cannot ignore my mother’s call.
A companion of Prophet sought his permission to migrate from Mecca to Medina. Prophet replied, “You have aged mother. Take good care of her. You will receive same grace that you will receive if you see me in person”.
Father’s Dua for his children will be accepted. Dua by Messengers for their society will be accepted. Same way, father’s Dua for his children will be answered.
Verse 36 continues with importance of relatives. Set aside sometime in your life for your relatives. Nowadays people are not visiting their relatives even on festivals. Rightful earning and good relation with relatives are very essential. ‘zil kurba’- close relatives. Next, be benevolent to orphans, care for poor people and show kindness to your neighbors. Sometimes exchange curries with your neighbors on left, sometime exchange gifts with your neighbors on right. Elite section is becoming more and more careless about their neighbors. You may be educated, but commands of Quran won't change. Guards are employed for security. No one is going their neighbor houses. Muslim should be friendly in his neighborhood, no matter what their religion is. One should be protection to another.
Neighbor of Imam Abu Hanifa (rah) was a drunkard. He will shout all night. Once he was taken in police custody. Imam went to station and bailed him out. He seated that person in the camel and he himself sat behind him. The neighbor felt remorse and renounced drinking.
You should not move your balcony in the premises of your neighbor. Don’t park cars in front of their houses. Don’t trouble them in any way. Don’t push your walls into their area. Forty houses constitute neighbors; forty to the right, forty to the left, forty in front and forty back. This is Prophet’s suggestion. You have to visit them if they are ill. Some are raising eyebrows. Is this possible these days? You know how many houses politicians visit for ballots. You have to care for your neighbors for your Akhirat.
Orphans are young kids and their desires will be little. If you cannot take entire ownership for them, you can certainly fulfill their small wishes. You can spend 2000 rupees for them. Atleast spend 50 rupees.
Don’t abuse or curse poor people. Don’t give them lectures. Verse 36 says, be good to companions. Some interpret this to mean wives. Be good to your friends. Behave well with wayfarers. Lodges and hotels are not needed. Don’t start interrogating. Give money to travelers and remove their distress. Don’t be skeptical. Relatives may sometimes come to our house. Don’t show unpleasant attitude. Be kind to your servants and assistants. Maids should not be ill-treated. Servants are not inferiors. They are also children of Adam (alai). Wages should be given before their sweat evaporates. Don’t get curses from your servants and assistants. Receive their Dua. Allah has given you good position. Don’t be arrogant to your assistants, whether they are Hindu or Muslim. Allah does not like arrogant, boastful people. Allah does not care about your position, status or wealth.
Leader should be a serving person. Society will naturally elevate those who serve them as leaders.
Parents – validayn
Relatives – zil kurba
Orphans – yathama
Poor – masaakeen
Neighbors – zarijil kurba
Companions – sahibi bil janbi
Wayfarers – vabnas sabeel
Servants – maa malakath aymaanukum
Do good – ihsaana